Skip to main content

Cultural bows , vows or blows…blowing my nose


The past few weeks have been telling on my nerves and body. First I would like to target  the weather. Cold/winter/grey skies have never been appreciated by me except in poems/paintings. An unexpected indisposition at home set the ball rolling which apparently affected near and dear. This ‘indisposition’ silently endured by my husband (the victim) for over a month.
To begin the ordeal  of putting it in words ,one needs strong nerves to bear cultural shocks but when the year begins with  a physical shock (accident  mentioned above) the following shocks are not borne by a debilitating body. One learns from the laws of nature when one leaf falls it gives way for a new leaf. This new leaf appears after the rough weather . But that does not augur well for the other aging leaves. All will fall one by one sooner or later.

Marriage by night

The marriage of a friend’s daughter in all splendor was an honour to attend and participate. But the more amazing part of the event was to see a group of  hand-picked friends cutely dressed forming the centre piece of the venue. And surprisingly they were from ‘ Dhanbad’ , of course now re-located in different parts of India after marriage. Their multi-cultured face(t)s became effervescently evident. I wondered and swallowed hard due to a parched throat.
The surprise ‘element’ being ‘Dhanbad’ as I was mentally absorbed with Adiga’s book The White Tiger, where the protagonist too hails from Dhanbad (Laxmangarh). No offence. Just tried to fathom ’Vikas’ I mean development in India till date. But Adiga painted this character on the lower rungs of society , I felt I was hovering with a more genteel and sophisticated crowd. Some consolation.
Now like all weddings these days ,this was an inter-regional marriage—Punjabi/Tamil pair, the couple. No no do not rush to Chennai. The groom hailed from NCR and the bride from Delhi. She was (the bride) a coy, cheerful and she looked hardly ruffled about an imminent cultural exchange. But the phrase ‘cultural exchange’ affected my immune system.  All Punjabi marriages (North Indians) take place after sunset below a starry sky , Wow !  romantic only if it was not in winter. So the scope for many misgivings, mismatches or mistakes are patched with darkness. Don’t get me wrong! Oh! not again the word ‘darkness’(as in Adiga’s novel) crops up again.

Chilly Ambience

The Neem tree in the open air , an ambience best suited  for a courtyard in the foreground of a mansion. The tree sheltered a ‘mandap’ for the ‘pheras’. Though I stood witness under a thick branch, the neem tree branch could not help wrapping me with a cold hug of the winter air. Eyes , mine and those of the wedding guests kept popping out, to get a glimpse of the couple. All went well. I reached home but got laid up with a nasty cold that pursues a high temperature and pampers a blocked nose. Bounties you earn from winter outings. God bless the couple!

Mat O’Fa guest

The week that followed only permitted a rigorous cleaning schedule to welcome a relative from the US. This included cleaning bathrooms, kitchen shelves, furniture, bedroom furniture et al; because he is a cleanliness freak. To claim a roundtrip flight that was ‘ favouring’ desirable and undesirable destinations from his benevolent office, the man sets out on a lavish trip. This ‘compulsive’ visitor will dole out goodies on arrival. But when we offer some to him he calls it mollycoddling. Praise the arrogance of an American visitor/ tourist.....er.
The sockets supporting my bones  in the limbs do look healthy but feel fagged out  in earnest as never do I enjoy being in between the wheels of a hover-board ( You know wheels on the left & wheels on the right with you in the centre) .This position  demands speed and smooth sailing whereby you  must vacillate efficiently for the rider to avoid a trip up performance.

I cannot help but remember a line towards the end of the novel by Adiga for all drinkers of tea and coffee. In the north of India everyone drinks tea even the poor and in the south everyone drinks coffee even the poor.The reason for quoting these beverages--- we accept all as humans so no point discerning ,as long as the mediating force forms the fulcrum.Looking for a concoction to appease taste.


Plum in the pudding

Many may not savour the pudding at my age but I was endowed with a sweet tooth. Even though I take precautions to consume less sweets the temptations to do window shopping at a sweet shop will always be cherished. One such pudding which required no window shopping was an earnest desire to meet a schoolmate after 35 years. I did manage to travel almost 100 kms all by myself to meet Meena.
Meena is venturing gracefully into the autumn of her life with less troubles, lesser bickering and even lesser ambitions. She who tottered from one phase to another of life acquiring (academic) degrees and bringing up a family , she felt elated at every achievement. Today she is worldly wise and claims to be a sought after plum in the family pudding, much better than being a will- o’- the wisp.

I fell for her usual throaty laugh and that warm hug when we met. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Khairoo and her sisters

Khairoo and Her Sisters – Still a Reverie -Reshmi Chandrasekhar It wasn’t easy playing Hide-N-Seek with Khairoo in your company.Khairoo was one lovable friend. She was only six with two elder sisters .They were sharp witted and pretty; Zainab and Iyesha- I instead of “Ai” that’s how she wanted it spelt. Why?God knows! Allah knows! Wherever she is now if she read this piece I am sure she would come grinning a pleasant nod. Iyesha was the eldest, shorter and darker compared to Zainab. On special days when the two dressed up anyone would admire Zainab even if Iyesha wore a costlier dress. If Zainab offered an endearing smile for the compliments Iyesha would part with a smirk. But both sisters paid lavish compliments to Khairoo who always wore spotless white clothes. She preferred it that way. Khairoo felt white created an odd brightness around her and if anybody made her sit in sunlight she gushed with laughter that followed a chuckle, expressing gratitude. And why? Khairoo was b

Interior decor for different rooms

      Chandeliers no longer a living room luxury While chandeliers certainly upgrade the quality of lighting in a living room, There may be a drab and dull corner that can add up to the elegant quotient with a mini chandelier to enliven the room. The brass based ones in cup shapes  are suitable for the living room and the dining hall. Despite all the modern day developments in lighting technology with fluorescent tubes and CFLs, the allure of a chandelier is unmatched and that is why the rich and famous prefer chandeliers in their homes. They have the unique style and classical touch to charm the people living in and those visiting these tasteful homes. So whatever be one’s budget, there are chandeliers to fit every pocket size.  The awe of grandeur and luxury tags  are attached to chandeliers even today, there are affordable options.  Some rooms which may not require the chandeliers for instance, the children’s study room should have bright lights but not too brilliant ligh

Headlines do not appeal to the head

I am lying if I say I am not exactly a newspaper freak but headlines these days are freaked out. Some are so categorical that if they refer to politicians or political parties they just astound to the extent eyes ogle out or ears grow out of proportion that's obviously bad even for a caricature.  "For women more degrees mean less pay" means women should shun education or women are underpaid? "......hoopster..........jewellery con means basketball leads to conning or vice versa? "......6 killed in factory fire" sounds better than placing "Factory fire kills 6.  "Election forecast - AAP plays spoilsport for Cong & BJP" Cutting costs make a sports reporter a political expert. When were Congress or BJP on the 'high five" list to be 'bulldozed' by a popular party. As a matter of fact all three are quizzically placed now in Delhi. Those three strong women are alive and kicking   Woman 'A'  well past her